Welcome to As a Matter of Snack.
First of all, can we talk about what a headache it is to choose a blog title? I thought it was going to magical: finally, after many years of saying “I want to write about food,” I’d given myself the time and opportunity to open my heart to building something purely and authentically mine on the internet.
It will be effortless, of course! I’ve been wanting this for years! How hard could it be to come up with a no-more-than-five-word, topical-but-not-too-specific, original-but-not-too-weird, clever-but-not-too-obscure, non-offensive-but-a-little-boundary-pushing blog title that isn’t already in use and is also likely to contain words that might someday be trending on google?
And if you think that sounds hard, try asking your friends for their input.
“_______ has a bad mouth feel. See what I did there? With the food blogging lingo?” says one.
“Does anyone even say ________ anymore?” says another (or probably the same one as above, actually. He knows who he is).
“That one has such a negative connotation.” “Are you trying to appeal to only idiots?” “I thought you were so much smarter than this title makes you seem.” And on, and on, and on.
Fifteen hours of google searching “all popular English idioms & cliches in history” LATER, I settled on this title. Which also happened to be the very first name I came up with, on a whim, three weeks ago when I decided to be serious about this blogging thing. Go figure.
But I digress.
I’m Catherine, but you can call me Cat.
I was born in love with food. In fact, I’m pretty sure that I drank Coca-Cola out of my baby bottle, but I could also be making that up. Even if I’m making it up, though, ‘she drank Coke from a baby bottle’ probably says as much about me as you’ll need to know.
Snack foods, in particular, are my jam. Especially snack foods that are impossible to get in my community. I always go for the thing that’s kind of unobtainable (which also explains why I was often single during my twenties, but more on that another day!), and I have been known to make quarterly trips to A TOTALLY DIFFERENT COUNTRY (granted, that country is the USA, and I live in Canada, which is literally on the same mass of land, but STILL, right?) just to purchase snacks that I read about online or saw on tv.
Yep. I drove five hours to purchase oatmeal Pop-Tarts (FYI: they weren’t great).
Let’s allow that to sink in for just a minute.
Plot twist: I was not a thin child. Or adolescent. Or young adult. In fact, I was downright obese, at times. But at the time the above photo was taken (two-ish years ago), I was actually pretty average-sized. I still am, and have been since I was 21 (I’m 34 now).
How can she eat all of that, and not be fat? Or dying? You, the reader, may be wondering.
And the answer is: I probably AM dying (more on my hypochondria later!). Also: magic.
Psych! Alas, woman cannot survive by trans-fats alone. I just balance things. I try to focus on whole foods, reduce simple carbs when I can, and stay conscious of the portions that enter my pie-hole (and it literally is a pie-hole, at times).
It’s far from a perfect system. As I write this, I have a purse full of mini Kit-Kats, and I ate 2 small bags of Miss Vickies kettle chips for pre-dinner. I eat pre-dinner, regularly. I’m loosely planning to consume Chinese food in buffet form in the very near future. I ate an entire blueberry pie, with the help of my boyfriend, in 1.5 days this week.
Needless to say, I still gain weight sometimes. Like in the summer (BBQ steak & ginger beer!). And fall (caramel apples & turkey stuffing!). And winter (hibernation & homemade bits & bites!).
Eating moderately is a process that will never end for me. I will always be trying to figure out how I can be 15 pounds lighter whilst eating nutella banana wraps for breakfast daily. And once I figure that out, you will be the first to know. Natch.
But overall, I’m happy where I am. I am in control (except around chips. and Chinese buffets…). I can wear clothing from almost any store (except children’s stores? And I guess probably some fancy city shops? And sometimes the juniors section at Winners?). I eat the things I love, but also can stop eating those same things, when I want to (unless: chips).
Why am I telling you all of this?
Primarily because it would be awkward if I had a blog without words. But also because oversharing is just kind of what I do. And if blogging obsessively about random new snacks that you find at every convenience store ever, or discovering a way to make sweet & sour chicken without any kind of sweetening agent, or creating a version of guacamole that actually tastes like chocolate chip cookies, are dreams that at all resonate with you, then I think we should be friends.
This blog is for you, person who just ate a jar of peanut butter in your underwear. You know who you are.